We’re in this together. We seriously are. I just need to get this off my chest regarding the association of “disenfranchised grief” when it comes to pet loss and bereavement.
I am one of those loving pet parents whose world just explodes when one of my precious love’s die. I’m not alone; there are other pet lovers who know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re out there, right? Give me a “hell yes.”
Therefore, I thought I would write this blog for those who DON’T get it. For all my pet lovers, pass this along to them. And, while I am going to write this from the first person because this is how I feel, I’m guessing there are countless people reading this who will insert themselves into being the “I” in this blog.
With this blog, I want to do my part in educating those who don’t get it, not to change anyone’s mind about how they feel about animals, nor to do any sort of “altar call” and try to convince others to become pet lovers. That’s seriously a person’s own decision to not have an animal in their life, and I respect that.
My first heartfelt request: Please respect the fact that I do have them in my life, therefore we will see the life and love I share with them as well as their inevitable death differently. I respect your decision; please respect mine.
When that day does come and my heart is shattered with the loss of an unconditional love, can I ask you for a HUGE favor? Just sit with me. Sit with my grief and make space for MY emotions, not yours. I don’t need you to GET it; I just want you to be with me and support me. And, also, I don’t need you to fix it, because you can’t.
Getting another pet won’t fix it, as a special relationship just can’t be replaced. Reminding me of what a good pet mommy I was/am doesn’t make me feel better. Telling me I did the right thing makes me feel even crappier than I do now, knowing full well I played God in ending my precious love’s life. Telling me “it’s just a dog” and other people have bigger issues going on so I should keep it in perspective… oh that one. That one makes me seriously just want to punch something.
I will be a mess when it happens. I will have moments of being inconsolable. I will cry today, tomorrow, next week and next month. Support me, respect where I am at that moment, and then sit with me and let me share yet one more story about them. Don’t judge me and don’t try to move me along to another place, all because it makes YOU feel better. This is not about you.
Thank you for letting me share these thoughts, from my heart and I’m sure so many others out there.
To our precious animals who have gone on…rest in peace and thank you for awakening our souls. For I do believe “Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.”