I wasn’t ready to talk about this yet, but I’m getting desperate and having nothing else to do BUT talk about it.
This past Friday our precious and ornery one-eared pussycat went missing. Our beautiful and silly-looking Rudy has been an active and large part of our home for 10 years. He’s not like any other cat. In fact, I’ve said countless times he’s really “species challenged” as he truly believed he was one of the dogs.
I’m wracked with guilt. As we brought the newest furry-member into our home, Rudy was completely not amused. Albert is a rambunctious puppy who doesn’t know his size, nor boundaries as of yet. I can’t be mad at him… he’s being a puppy and he’s doing what he knows how to do best, be just that.
However, I am wracked with guilt. Rudy was not amused and did not feel safe around Albert. Even though I know Albert would never hurt Rudy, the chase games still ensued. I told Rudy time and time and time again, Mommy will never allow you to get hurt.
Well, the guilt is overwhelming. I feel like I let my boy down, and now he’s left our home. I’ve said so many prayers over the past few days, I’ve lost track of how many promises I made “if only” Our Creator and the Universe would bring him back to us. I’m sure they’ll all come back to me the minute I see that precious white face back in our home, where he belongs.
I’ve heard these stories countless times as a companion to others experiencing the loss of a precious pet. From missing diagnosis to accidents that have happened, the guilt of loss and lost.
But when it’s your own, it’s different. I know better. I knew the chances of him being a “flight risk” as this is what he does when he’s mad. I KNOW BETTER.
So, for today, I continue to pray. If you’re reading this, will you send prayers our way too.
And, when the time is right, I’ll take another stab at finding some peace for my heart. For my carelessness. And for letting my precious Rudy-Poo down.
Thanks for listening…